View photo
  • 34 minutes ago
  • 1378
View photo
  • 17 hours ago
  • 91320

barebackinq:

Me: Mom I don’t think I am getting any better, I still feel sick…

Mom:image

View text
  • 17 hours ago
  • 154886
View photo
  • 20 hours ago
  • 18714

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

View text
  • 20 hours ago
  • 43684

dlubes:

theunimaginables:

losing your virginity be like: 

image

View text
  • 20 hours ago
  • 8881
View photo
  • 21 hours ago
  • 100531

snatchedweaves:

That look ur mom gives u when u embarrass her in public but she can’t kill u yet

image

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 219579

ectolime:

clay-phoenix:

leo-arcana:

lil-weezing:

ask-flameprince:

ask-alex-the-vampire-princess:

arthur-christmas-claus:

auspisstice:

ferlmao:

himapapaftw:

blackmormon:

i think Paulina from danny phantom is the older Trixie tang

image

image

I wouldn’t be surprised

Woah woah woah, that means

image

image

whA T

HEADCANON ACCEPTED

Can we please not forget about this? 

image

image

Wait then what if

image

image

i cannot accept this

image

WHAT THE FRICK IS GOING ON

image

image

friends forever

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 671051
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 53304

rambozus:

itsmemorized:

Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
GRANDPA NO

Grandpa yes.

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 129914

yellowberet:

ghostmoritz:

yellowberet:

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 345966
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 59442
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 335376
  • me as a pedestrian:[catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving:say your prayers
View chat
  • 1 day ago
  • 23420
x